How to Write Your Own Vows: A Simple 3-Step Guide

Beth and Geraint’s Wedding Ceremony at Tortworth Court, sharing their personal vows. Just lush.

Introduction!

Writing your own vows is one of the most personal and memorable parts of your wedding day. It’s your chance to express your deepest feelings and promises to your partner in your own unique way, but writing them can feel overwhelming; where do I start?! will they come off cringey? do I need a quill?!

Reality is, with this simple formula and the reassurance that your words and feelings are perfect just as they are, everything will be just fine.

When it comes to actually writing them, whether you’re sipping wine writing them with your partner, sitting next to them for inspo, or writing solo to surprise them, here’s a fun little guide to help you craft vows that will make your wedding day even more special.

Setting the Scene

Before you dive into the words. Set le scene. Grab a bottle of your favourite wine/beer/margaritas whatever you fancy and a bowl of crisps, olives, take away pizzas, and get comfy. Writing vows should be a fun and intimate experience, treat yourself and make sure you’re in a space where you can enjoy!

Freya and Mark’s Wedding at Wildswim2sauna, Topsham Bridge, sharing their own personal vows - not a dry eye in the house! Freya even mentioned Mark’s morning farts.

Photo credit: Ivy and Pine Photography (also an epic wedding photog pair!)

Step 1: Think About What You Love

Start with the basics. Their kindness, their sense of humour, the way they make you feel loved. All the lovely and important stuff. Then, to add some depth, if you can, dig deeper. What are those little quirks that make them uniquely them? Only them.

I love my husband Tom’s calmness, kindness and his smile which still makes me melt. (Digging deeper) I actually really love the way he looks at (through) me for ages after I’ve said something and then, much later, responds with “sorry, I was just thinking about work… what did you say?” It annoys the hell out of me, but I also love it.

These details might seem small, but they paint a picture of your love story and show that you truly see each other.

So, for example:

"Alex, I love so much about you—your patience, your sense of humour, and the way you always know how to make me feel safe. But, for me, it’s also the little things. Like how you always have to double-check if the front door’s locked, even when we’re halfway down the street. Or how you always hum when you’re concentrating. It’s those quirks, the ones only I get to see, that make me love you even more."

Naomi and Sam exchanging personalised vows at Pynes House, Exeter.

Photography by the amazing Marta D Photography

Step 2 - Add Your Promises

Next, think about the promises you want to make. This can be about the big things, building a home together, embarking on new adventures, but also the little things that make everyday life special and just-so-you….3 or 4 x promises is great. 1 x funny one chucked in there somewhere - even better!

“I promise to build a warm and loving home with you, to be your biggest cheerleader, and to stand by your side through every adventure life throws our way. Even when you suggest we try and eat the rank cauliflower soup from the freezer that neither of us actually want—I’ll always give it a go, just for you. I promise to love you wholeheartedly, today and for all the beautiful tomorrows we have ahead of us.”

Sam and Laura’s personal vows at Bath Spa Hotel - they were such a beautiful, heartfelt declaration of their lovely love.

Photo Credit: Greg Shingler Photography (and a legend!)

Step 3 - Your Future

Finally, think about your future together. What do you hope for? What dreams do you want to share? Paint a picture of the life you envision, filled with both the everyday and the extraordinary.

For example:

“I can’t wait for a future where we laugh a lot and continue to be silly together, even when life throws challenges our way. I look forward to those simple, everyday moments—growing old together, sharing Hobnobs in bed on Saturday mornings or watching you having a little strop in Tescos because they’ve “run out” of your favourite Wensleydale cheese that I’m not sure they’ve ever stocked, and having those late-night chats about everything and nothing. Here’s to a future filled with love, laughter, and countless adventures with you by my side, for always. I love you.”

John and Mark at a Styled Shoot with the amazing Juniper Photography

Bringing It All Together

Once you have your ideas, start to weave them into a rough piece. You want about 2 minutes worth. Begin with what you love about your partner, move into the promises you want to make, and finish with your hopes for the future. Aim for a mix of light-heartedness and sincerity, creating a set of vows that feel authentically you. You’d be surprised how lush they’ll be just naturally. Representing the perfectly, imperfect you.

A Final Toast to You!

Remember, your vows are a celebration of your lush love story. They’re not meant to be any kind of poetry or Shakesperean “nonsense” (sorry Will) So, raise a glass of fizz, nibble on a crisp, lick an olive and write from the heart*ish*. Brain dump and go from there and remember - I am right here to help - I offer one to one support for couples to help them on the process.

Cheers to love, laughter, and a lifetime of tequila shots!